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You likely have more relationships than you can count on your hands. This includes not just your romantic tangles, but all the other small relationships you build every day. Relationships occur with just about everyone you meet. You have work relationships, romantic relationships, friendly relationships, family relationships, etc. You even have a relationship with the woman or man you cross paths with every day during your morning run. These relationships exist, and they’re not going anywhere. But how can you build meaningful relationships when so many of your relationships are just casual?
Communication! The number one and most important thing in any meaningful relationship is communication. And we’re not just talking about shooting them a text from time to time. Actually physically see that person and talk to them. If you’re unable to see them face-to-face, you can webchat or call them over the phone, but you should be able to hear each others voice. We connect differently to someone by hearing them over just reading words. You can hear the emotion in their voice – something very important that you lose via text (regardless of how many smiley or frowny faces they throw at you).
Take something away from each of your encounters. No matter how small, every encounter you have with this person should be inspirational and positive. If it’s someone you’ve never met before or someone you only see in a casual setting, learn something new about them. If its someone you talk to everyday, notice something about them you’ve not before. We change every day, and each person is different in so many ways, it’s almost impossible to learn every single thing you can about another person – you haven’t even learned everything you can about yourself yet!
Invest a little. Take the time with every person you meet. Don’t just rush past them, or ignore them. Invest a little in your relationship, even if it is a casual one. When you invest in these relationships, they’ll invest a little back. Have you ever had the same waitress at a restaurant every time you’ve gone, and they started to memorize your order? It feels good walking in to the restaurant knowing that there is someone inside who knows you. Imagine you have that everywhere you go – the friendly faces and fun little chats. It is possible to have.
Be in the moment. If you’re with someone, be there. Put down the cell phone and turn off the Facebook App. When you’re with them be all there. You’ll be better able to connect with someone when you’re actually in the moment, not thinking about what you’ll have for dinner or what some annoying driver did on your way home yesterday.
And finally, open up to the other person. You can do all of the above, but if you remain closed off or locked away emotionally, you’ll never really connect with anyone. So it’s OK to open up from time to time, to let the other person in. Once you open up to the other person, chances are they’ll open up to you.
You won’t be able to build meaningful relationships with every person you meet, but you certainly can try. But remember, your happiness is important; if someone is not putting the effort in to build a meaningful relationship with you as well or they are toxic, you can continue to be cordial and nice with them but don’t drain your happiness in order to make them happy.
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